Waiting
by kdzl
Summary: Possible Character Death. One-Shot. Written by request of Brynnifer. JJ/Hotch.


**AN/Thanks to Brynnifer for the idea, I hope this lives up to expectations and what you were hoping for. This is different from anything I've written before, so I hope you like it.**

**Warning: Possible (?) Character Death**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Criminal Minds related other than the DVDs.**

"JJ, look at me." Hotch commanded sternly. I could feel his anger rising, but I knew it was misdirected. "After all we've been through, don't do this to me."

"I'm sorry, Aaron." I said, trying to fight back the tears as I saw the realization dawn in his face. He had tried everything he could, but it just wasn't enough anymore.

A year ago, I would have never thought that I could have been in this place. My mind wandered to the revelation that had changed my life.

_"Excuse me?" I asked dumbfounded. I had only been feeling slightly under the weather when Will insisted I be checked out by a doctor. Back pain, abdominal pain, weight loss...it wasn't too out of the ordinary. This was just supposed to be some infection that could be cured with antibiotics. I was supposed to be fine. I couldn't have--_

_"It's cancer. We've caught it fairly late, but that has allowed the tumor to enlarge enough that we can be certain of the diagnosis. Stage III Ovarian Cancer." Dr. Hallstrom said sympathetically. "We ran a CA-125 which shows you have elevated hormone levels..." I knew he was speaking, but the words seemed unable to register. Cancer. _

"JJ, I love you." Hotch whispered, as though his revelation would keep me rooted where I was.

"I know." I smiled, thinking back to the support he had given me throughout the ordeal. Will had left early on, stating that he hadn't signed up for this. Neither had I, I had tried to remind him, but he didn't seem to care. My team, my real family, had been there through it all. Through the chemo, even when they had other cases. But now I was here on my own. _Not on my own_, I tried to remind myself Hotch was with me. But when life is ending, it feels awfully lonely.

"I just--" I couldn't help but gasp for breath, "I can't do this anymore."

"JJ, you have to keep fighting."

"I've been fighting for a year, and I'm done. I can't fight anymore. I don't have it left in me." I admitted honestly.

_"Jayje, I really think that bald suits you." Garcia said in her usual gregariously truthful way. "I mean, look at all the scarves you can wear."_

_I couldn't help but smile at the feeling of gratitude that welled inside of me for my outgoing friend. When everyone else had begun treating me like I was some sort of invalid, Garcia was amazingly constant. She was the one I could joke with, the one I could admit my fears to without hearing an automatic 'Everything will turn out fine.' It was times like these that I was grateful to have Penelope Garcia as a friend. "What about this blue one?" I asked, suddenly missing my long blonde hair that had been my companion throughout my life and was now conspicuously absent._

_"I like it." Garcia smiled._

_"You say that with every single one." I chuckled._

_"But they're all good. I'm sure if Hotch were here, he would say the same thing." Garcia chuckled._

_"Hotch?" I asked, a little too quickly. "Why would he be here."_

_"Oh, can it Sugar Lips. I know that you two have been spending a lot more time together." She said knowingly._

_"It's not like I have much left." I muttered softly. "Might as well get in all that I can."_

_"DON'T!" Garcia turned on me so quickly that I nearly missed the ferocious look in her eyes._

_"What?" I asked._

_"Don't you say that. You don't get to say that. You have to fight, no matter what. Do you hear me?" Garcia said passionately and so seriously that I was shocked at the pain in her eyes._

_"Okay." I conceeded._

_"No. You have to promise me. You will not let this stupid thing beat you. You won't give up without kicking it's ass." Garcia continued._

_"How can you kick cancer's ass?" I laughed, and immediately realized my mistake as tears welled in my best friend's eyes._

_"It doesn't matter, but you will win, or else, I'll come and kick your ass." Garcia smiled. "Promise?"_

_"I promise." _

And fight I did. Even when I thought I should give up, I fought. I fought for Henry. I fought for my family. I fought for the people that I had grown so close to that they had become a second family to me. I fought for the relationship with my boss that was forbidden, but was just beginning to bud. Now, I knew that there was no fight left for this second battle.

"Look, dude. Get the FBI to let us go, and we'll let your lady have some medical treatment." One of the burly men that had walked into the grocery store shortly after we had said, pointing his semi-automatic towards the gaping hole in my side.

"I can't do anything. I promise you, if you allow her to have medical treatment, no matter what happens, it will work out better for you in the end." Hotch said, though to an outside observer he may have sounded cold, I could hear the desperation in his voice.

"I've got three strikes. A murder is the same to me as robbery. I either get no jail time, or she dies. No skin off my nose." The man said callously.

"What about her son? This woman has a son!" Another young woman shouted from where all the hostages were gathered.

"So?" Another one of the assailants pointed out. "They're FBI."

I could feel myself slipping away. It seemed almost comical that the same week that I am declared to be in remission, that Hotch and I would walk into a grocery store that would quickly turn into a hostage situation. How ironic that after "kicking cancer's ass" that I was going to die at the hands of an UnSub--_after_ I had left the FBI. Had it been under different circumstances, I would have laughed.

"Aaron?" I asked, as the world around me began fading into blackness. I had been gasping for breath for a while, and his interchange with the UnSubs had only distracted him from my progressively worsening state.

"It's going to be fine." Hotch said, cradling me in his arms.

"No, it's not. But, Henry--" I gasped, once more, feeling so tired but knowing that I needed to express this last thought, "please watch out for him. Make sure he knows how much I love him."

"JJ, you're going to have every chance to do that. I promise."

"Don't." I said, not nearly as strongly as I wish I could have. "Don't make promises that we both know you can't keep." My breathing was labored, I knew what was coming, but that didn't make it any easier. Reality slipping through my fingertips as I just wanted to have some great words to be remembered by. But, sadly, at this moment words were failing me. My body was failing me as my own blood seeped onto the white tile. I just needed to know that Hotch wouldn't fail me either.

"Promise me." I commanded him with as much gusto as I could muster. Knowing that my command came out as a whisper, I trusted him to respond.

"I promise." He said, his own stoic demeanor breaking for a moment as tears welled in his luscious dark eyes.

"Good." I relaxed and allowed the darkness to take me.

* * *

I was no longer in pain, the freeing existence that I was now a part of encompassed me like a bright warm glow. I had to watch how it would turn out, I had to know. I watched as Hotch cradled my cancer free body tightly as it hung limply in his arms. It was only moments later that the police stormed the store, but it was only a few moments too late. I watched how Hotch broke the news to my friends and pseudo family that I didn't make it. I tried to comfort a hysterical Garcia as she learned the news, grateful that the woman who I loved like a sister would be there to watch over my son. I watched a withdrawn Reid, an angered Morgan, and a devastated Emily rely on each other for support as they reeled from the news. I watched Rossi withdraw, knowing that he didn't have much time left himself.

I watched, and I waited.

When the time came for each of them to pass on to this glorious next life, I would be there.

Waiting.

* * *

**AN2--My first Character Death! Let me know what you thought!**


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